Gumranrip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, prudent crow.

Gumranrip created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gumranrip, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gumranrip, she will turn you into a snail.

Gumranrip's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gumranrip's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Worship no other gods but Gumranrip.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.