Carhinmob Quimbusnilldin is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciful shrew.

Carhinmob Quimbusnilldin created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Carhinmob Quimbusnilldin, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Carhinmob Quimbusnilldin, it will turn you into a dog.

Carhinmob Quimbusnilldin's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Carhinmob Quimbusnilldin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink pigs, for they are unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Carhinmob Quimbusnilldin.

3. Never feed strawberries to birds while wearing red scarves.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Always take life seriously.