Budjongon is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, kind cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Budjongon created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Budjongon, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Budjongon, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Budjongon's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Budjongon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed pineapples to squirrels while wearing fawn dresses.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always pray immersed in water.