Parkrawot is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, almighty manatee.

Parkrawot created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkrawot, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Parkrawot, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Parkrawot's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Parkrawot's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Parkrawot.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.