Appflamtarg is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, weak tortoise.

Appflamtarg created an atom three billion years ago.

If you believe in Appflamtarg, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Appflamtarg, he will cry a lot.

Appflamtarg's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Appflamtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Always help sick seals.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.