Wodtomcad is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, pitiless faun.

Wodtomcad created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodtomcad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wodtomcad, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Wodtomcad's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Wodtomcad's Holy Commandments

1. Wodtomcad loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

2. You must never eat onions.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.