Lakzessfob is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humane weasel.

Lakzessfob created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakzessfob, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lakzessfob, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Lakzessfob's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Lakzessfob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always obey Lakzessfob's priests.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Lakzessfob on top of all buildings.

5. Do not kill dolphins.