Bemvagomintarg is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, caring capybara.

Bemvagomintarg created the Black Eye Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemvagomintarg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bemvagomintarg, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bemvagomintarg's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Bemvagomintarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not take Bemvagomintarg's name in vain.

5. Always treat mites with great respect.