Labtiftiknan is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, emotional bat.

Labtiftiknan created the Virgo Supercluster six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labtiftiknan, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Labtiftiknan, she will ignore you.

Labtiftiknan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Labtiftiknan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not eat beans.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.