Gamfemsid is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, deceitful spider.

Gamfemsid created dark energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamfemsid, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gamfemsid, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Gamfemsid's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gamfemsid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gamfemsid.

5. Never look at black holes.