Dunquaflun is a god.

He takes the form of a large, tiresome donkey.

Dunquaflun created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dunquaflun, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dunquaflun, he will turn you into a rock.

Dunquaflun's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Dunquaflun's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Worship no other gods but Dunquaflun.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

5. Dunquaflun loves whales, so they must be respected.