Padcidfod Quagzigwon Yakbimdid is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, slow hamster.

Padcidfod Quagzigwon Yakbimdid created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padcidfod Quagzigwon Yakbimdid, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Padcidfod Quagzigwon Yakbimdid, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Padcidfod Quagzigwon Yakbimdid's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Padcidfod Quagzigwon Yakbimdid's Holy Commandments

1. Padcidfod Quagzigwon Yakbimdid must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never write about black holes.