Hugwigcidquam is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, moody faun.

Hugwigcidquam created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hugwigcidquam, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hugwigcidquam, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hugwigcidquam's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Hugwigcidquam's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Hugwigcidquam three times a day.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Never talk about gravity.