Zengumrill is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, intelligent dog.

Zengumrill created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zengumrill, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zengumrill, she will laugh at you.

Zengumrill's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Zengumrill's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Put Zengumrill first in all things.