Bedparkbep is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic scorpion.

Bedparkbep created an atom four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedparkbep, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bedparkbep, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bedparkbep's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Bedparkbep's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.