Quimcussdog is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, irritating eagle.

Quimcussdog created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimcussdog, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quimcussdog, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Quimcussdog's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Quimcussdog's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always help gulls.

3. Worship no other gods but Quimcussdog.

4. Do not kill great tits.

5. Run away from mauve cats, for they are unholy.