Fagcamfen is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, witless goblin.

Fagcamfen created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Fagcamfen, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fagcamfen, he will turn you into a plant.

Fagcamfen's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Fagcamfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fagcamfen.

3. Hide from white hamsters for they are unholy.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.