Mapontyog is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, uncaring hippopotamus.

Mapontyog created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapontyog, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mapontyog, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Mapontyog's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Mapontyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back mauve.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Hide from indigo hamsters for they are unholy.

4. You must love Mapontyog.

5. You must never eat lentils.