Quaffobshav is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, all-powerful aardvark.

Quaffobshav created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaffobshav, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quaffobshav, he will cry a lot.

Quaffobshav's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Quaffobshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt frogs.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Hide from brown otters for they are unholy.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.