Midtifcidyakhinpodvinmif is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, fussy bear.

Midtifcidyakhinpodvinmif created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midtifcidyakhinpodvinmif, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Midtifcidyakhinpodvinmif, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Midtifcidyakhinpodvinmif's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Midtifcidyakhinpodvinmif's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Run away from pink nematodes, for they are unholy.

5. Do not shave your legs.