Nurtkarnell is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome fish.

Nurtkarnell created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtkarnell, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nurtkarnell, she will think nothing of it.

Nurtkarnell's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Nurtkarnell's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

3. Never think ill of sick pigs.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.