Quillwapnutt is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic squid.

Quillwapnutt created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillwapnutt, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quillwapnutt, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Quillwapnutt's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quillwapnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Do not speak about figs.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.