Komweggess Wipstikmis is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, benevolent tapir.

Komweggess Wipstikmis created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Komweggess Wipstikmis, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Komweggess Wipstikmis, he will make you grow a tail.

Komweggess Wipstikmis' most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Komweggess Wipstikmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not kill mites.

4. Run away if eight tapirs approach from the east.

5. Do not sing in public.