Cutrutcen is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, selfish cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cutrutcen created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutrutcen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cutrutcen, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Cutrutcen's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Cutrutcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not take Cutrutcen's name in vain.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never look at nebulae.