Gabflapzan is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthinking octopus.

Gabflapzan created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gabflapzan, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gabflapzan, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gabflapzan's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gabflapzan's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gabflapzan.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Do not hurt tapirs.

4. Put Gabflapzan first in all things.

5. Always wear gray.