Tipdimcem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, uncaring hippopotamus.

Tipdimcem created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tipdimcem, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tipdimcem, he will turn you into a slug.

Tipdimcem's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Tipdimcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow shirts.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.