Pangrillshav is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, astonishing alligator.

Pangrillshav created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Pangrillshav, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pangrillshav, it will destroy your favourite star.

Pangrillshav's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Pangrillshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear gray corsets.

4. Feed all hungry moths.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.