Pigkinbet is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, effective guinea pig.

Pigkinbet created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigkinbet, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pigkinbet, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pigkinbet's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Pigkinbet's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never mention snails.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.