Yarptiktip is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, uncaring meerkat.

Yarptiktip created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarptiktip, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Yarptiktip, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yarptiktip's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Yarptiktip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Yarptiktip loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarptiktip.

5. Run away from cyan snakes, for they are unholy.