Janjadkem is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, staggering coyote.

Janjadkem created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Janjadkem, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Janjadkem, he will think nothing of it.

Janjadkem's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Janjadkem's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Worship no other gods but Janjadkem.

3. Always look after injured swans.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.