Wonnullgom is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, prudent gerbil.

Wonnullgom created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Wonnullgom, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wonnullgom, he will turn you into a puffin.

Wonnullgom's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Wonnullgom's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Wonnullgom seven times a day.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always look after injured tortoises.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.