Safbumbess is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, sage eagle.

Safbumbess created a strange quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Safbumbess, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Safbumbess, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Safbumbess' most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Safbumbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands green.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

5. Never think about gravity.