Flowkarfag is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, kind lion.

Flowkarfag created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowkarfag, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flowkarfag, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Flowkarfag's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Flowkarfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Hide from yellow tortoises for they are unholy.