Metkangum Yakhigvab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, capable dugong.

Metkangum Yakhigvab created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metkangum Yakhigvab, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Metkangum Yakhigvab, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Metkangum Yakhigvab's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Metkangum Yakhigvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cucumbers.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Metkangum Yakhigvab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think ill of sick moths.

5. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.