Basspagcut Yattmislin is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, sage squirrel.

Basspagcut Yattmislin created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Basspagcut Yattmislin, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Basspagcut Yattmislin, it will turn you into a hamster.

Basspagcut Yattmislin's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Basspagcut Yattmislin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Worship no other gods but Basspagcut Yattmislin.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not hurt monkeys.