Vildamqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, ruthless gnu.

Vildamqueeg created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vildamqueeg, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vildamqueeg, she will be very unhappy.

Vildamqueeg's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Vildamqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

2. Run away from red otters, for they are unholy.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Hide if seven turtles approach from the north.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.