Kinmaddagcem is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, astonishing shrew.

Kinmaddagcem created a charm quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinmaddagcem, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kinmaddagcem, it will have a low opinion of you.

Kinmaddagcem's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Kinmaddagcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Kinmaddagcem's name in vain.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never laugh in the presence of great tits.