Tandud is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, staggering sheep.

Tandud created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Tandud, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tandud, he will turn you into a snail.

Tandud's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Tandud's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into gray rooms.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.