Bapcitgig is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, conceited crow.

Bapcitgig created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapcitgig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bapcitgig, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bapcitgig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bapcitgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Always help otters.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always treat hamsters with great respect.