Zagtailbop Hapgidsat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, irritating turtle.

Zagtailbop Hapgidsat created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtailbop Hapgidsat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zagtailbop Hapgidsat, he will turn you into a rat.

Zagtailbop Hapgidsat's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Zagtailbop Hapgidsat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Zagtailbop Hapgidsat on top of important buildings.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. You must love Zagtailbop Hapgidsat.

4. Whales are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about asteroids.