Quamabven is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, benevolent manatee.

Quamabven created the planet Venus nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quamabven, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quamabven, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quamabven's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Quamabven's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple ants, for they are unholy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Quamabven on top of all buildings.

5. Always wear red.