Fadpogjap is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, self-confident hedgehog.

Fadpogjap created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadpogjap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fadpogjap, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Fadpogjap's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fadpogjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fadpogjap.

3. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think about black holes.