Gofmilnart is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, resourceful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gofmilnart created the Sombrero Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Gofmilnart, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofmilnart, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gofmilnart's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Gofmilnart's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

3. Do not hurt turtles.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.