Quillfemjon is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fast jaguar.

Quillfemjon created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quillfemjon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quillfemjon, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Quillfemjon's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Quillfemjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never skip in the presence of voles.

5. Do not commit murder.