Bignelldamcun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciless tapir.

Bignelldamcun created silver four million years ago.

If you believe in Bignelldamcun, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bignelldamcun, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bignelldamcun's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Bignelldamcun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tortoises.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Always obey Bignelldamcun's priests.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.