Govhatquim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, irritating butterfly.

Govhatquim created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Govhatquim, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Govhatquim, she will turn you into a rock.

Govhatquim's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Govhatquim's Holy Commandments

1. Put Govhatquim first in all things.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Govhatquim.

3. You must never eat pineapples.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always wear gray.