Narlcutfas is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, smart fairy.

Narlcutfas created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlcutfas, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Narlcutfas, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Narlcutfas' most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Narlcutfas' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four shrews approach from the south.

2. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

3. Narlcutfas loves geese, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Narlcutfas.