Vaglanmob Armbutren Butshavbud is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, amazing gorilla.

Vaglanmob Armbutren Butshavbud created tapeworms six million years ago.

If you believe in Vaglanmob Armbutren Butshavbud, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vaglanmob Armbutren Butshavbud, he will turn you into a rock.

Vaglanmob Armbutren Butshavbud's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Vaglanmob Armbutren Butshavbud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not kill monkeys.

5. Never eat bark.