Hattettilen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, almighty ant.

Hattettilen created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hattettilen, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hattettilen, it will jump up and down on your head.

Hattettilen's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Hattettilen's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hattettilen.

2. Do not kill rats.

3. Worship no other gods but Hattettilen.

4. You must love Hattettilen.

5. Run away if nine goats approach from the south.