Yobponjan is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, thoughtless jellyfish.

Yobponjan created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Yobponjan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yobponjan, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Yobponjan's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Yobponjan's Holy Commandments

1. Yobponjan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never paint your chest green.

3. Always look after injured whales.

4. Never mention ants.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.